It is often said that “necessity is the mother of invention”, and if that were true then car owners must really need car accessories. Today you can find a dizzying variety of accessories for automobiles, ranging from the practical ones (smartphone holders) to the humorous (truck nuts).
But then there are car accessories that are so bizarre they make truck nuts seem tame in comparison. We’ve compiled into a list several accessories that are so odd that only their mother could love them.
A common sight in hipsters, lumbersexuals (yes, it’s a thing), and Tom Selleck, mustaches are the “in” right now. And if you wanna be one with the cool kids, you can wear your heart in your sleeve – or, in this case, a mustache in your car – with the “CarStache”. Mounted onto the grille, this synthetic mustache makes for a great complement for truck nuts. We do recommend getting the ones in brighter colors however, as the black and darker-colored versions look less like a ‘stache and more like a beaver got stuck in the grille.
Steering wheel desk
Whether it’s to help you compute your income taxes, read your dissertation notes, or take a quick brunch before heading to work, this portable work desk has go you covered. Why it’s mounted on the steering wheel is a different story altogether.
Sometime in the mid-1990, Honda’s executives actually thought it was a good idea to put a shower in an SUV. And that’s what they did with the first-generation Honda CR-V, which offered the option of having a cold water shower at the trunk. To be fair, the shower was geared more towards washing dirty pets than humans.
Did you know that it’s actually legal to own a flamethrower in the US? The folks at AutoLoc certainly do, which is why they’re offering to stick one up in your car. Mounted onto the exhaust tips, the AutoLoc flamethrower kit can shoot flames up to a distance of 20 feet. It’s a perfect accessory for the zombie apocalypse or when you want to make an impression during the neighborhood barbecue.
French fry holder
Source: Huffington Post
Designed to be placed on a standard cup holder, this French fry holder is something we love to make fun of but secretly desire.
Another accessory that throws caution into the wind, the Tesla Coil theft protection system basically puts a ring of electricity around the vehicle to give would-be carjackers the shock of their lives. Sadly the manufacturer still has yet to mass produce the system, much to the dismay of mad scientists and Back to the Future fans everywhere.
Having coffee on hand while driving is a tradition for many daily commuters, but if own a Fiat 500L minivan, you can have a really fresh cup of joe with its built-in espresso machine option. Resembling a cross between a sports bottle and a scuba tank, the Fiat 500L Lavazza coffee machine is the first of its kind to be installed on any production vehicle. Fiat did assuage concerns of drive-by scalding by clarifying that the machine will only work while the vehicle is on park. Why anyone would rather prefer to have coffee inside a cramped minivan than find a nearby Starbucks is lost in the ravages of time.
Portable pizza oven
If a built-in espresso machine takes the cake, the portable car pizza oven eats it too. Powered by a 12-volt cigarette lighter, this oven will definitely set your car on fire, drain the battery, or leave the interior smelling of burnt cheese and tomato sauce. You might even get a pizza along the way.
Whale penis leather seats
Source: The Hog Ring
Proving that you can get away with virtuallu anything if you have ridiculous amounts of cash, Russian automaker Dartz released its $1.5 million Prombron Monaco Red Diamond Edition SUV with an option to have its interior upholstered with leather made from crocodile belly, ostrich, or whale penis. Yup, you heard it right: for the cost of a swanky 1-bedroom condo in New York, you can have a car whose seats are covered in Moby Dick’s meat pickle. Dartz eventually withdrew the option after considerable backlash from activists.